Inspiring Moms Blog

Tips to help you make your next road trip fun and family friendly!

As our family gears up for a road trip to Chicago for a family reunion, I want to take a minute to wish you all a safe and festive fourth and to give you a few tips for the road. Load up on audio books and CDs.

My kids have grown up listening to the Adventures in Odyssey series, by Focus on the Family (www.focusonthefamily.com), and we love all kinds of books on CD/tape. Any one of the Harry Potter books will take us to Chicago and back or wherever your family destination. We also enjoy the Ramona the Pest series and Junie B. Jones. Head to your local library and see what they have available and chances are they have something for everyone.

As far as music, I would suggest any CDs from our dear friends, and Kansas City favorites, Mr. Stinky Feet (www.jimcosgrove.com) and Funky Mama (www.funkymamamusic.com). Our kids fall asleep each night to their hits. It’s so fun for me to hear the voices of my good friends echoing in our halls at night. We’ve also discovered a new group called the Recess Monkeys (www.recessmonkeytown.com). I had the chance to spend some time with this ultra cool group from Seattle at Jiggle Jam and they are as hip and fun as their music. The kids love their Beatles like beat and even the older kids agree--this band appeals to all ages. One neat fact is that the three band members are teachers by day and rock stars by night.  

Here’s to a rockin’ fourth!

Make it a great weekend,

Amy

June Reviews

Mommy Brain by Katherine Ellison. This book will fascinate you and peak your curiosity regarding motherhood and why we are all so darn smart! Author, Katherine Ellison tackles the science behind the organic changes our brain endures as we juggle the never-ending physical and emotional demands of motherhood. You’ll be thrilled to learn of the benefits associated with your most important profession, being a mom. Check it out on Amazon.com

 

Day Out With Daddy by Stephen Cook. Don’t wait for Father’s Day to buy this one! Any day can be daddy day with this darling picture book. The story involves Mommy heading out of town, (seems like a perfect reason to plan an overnight somewhere, mom!) and Daddy is in charge. Their adventures are a scream. I bought this one for Anderson, our four year old, and he cracks up whenever we read it. This will soon become a family favorite! Check it out on Amazon.com

How do you keep your kids’ math and reading skills sharp over the summer?

Great question. Like any muscle, the brain can atrophy if not used, and some of those important skills your child spent a year mastering can fade. My approach to keeping my kids intellectually fit is pretty easy going, yet consistent-- I encourage them to read, write and play throughout the summer.

 

To begin, make the library one of your first destinations this summer. Take advantage of the summer reading programs that begin at birth and span every age group up thru high school. Most programs encourage kids to set a goal as to the number of books they want to finish before the summer’s end and incentives are given along the way to entice them to achieve their goal. An entire world of learning and adventure opens up to your kids at your local library. We make multiple trips each week-- it’s our routine, make it yours, too.

 

Next on the literacy front is writing. This one isn’t as simple, yet very important. My strategy to keep my kids writing is to encourage them to do it daily. Every summer I buy the kids composition or spiral notebooks and they journal each morning. Writing well is a skill, and the only way to develop it is to practice. I want my kids to be confident writers-- more so than their loving mother. J Yes, it’s quite possible that your kids may not like their new journal routine, and, they may even complain. I’ve personally heard almost every complaint, yet my response is this, “My job is to keep you healthy, and that includes your intellectual health. I’m confident that you will think of something fun to write about!” To start your kids off, you may want to suggest that their first entry is to make a list of all the things they want to do this summer-- places they want to visit, people to play with, etcetera. Make it fun! Then let your kids write whatever comes to mind each morning. At our house, my kids write for about 20 minutes and it’s for their eyes only. They all get into it and it becomes easier and easier for them and you! Start today-- you won’t regret it! Also, all ages join in; scribbles, pictures and stickers are all early learning. Your younger kids may want to dictate their entries to you. Great, support them, have fun and watch their love for writing grow!

 

Finally, it is time to play-- games that is. Your kids will stay mentally sharp and have fun at the same time.  All it takes is a deck of cards and some board games. Think back to when you were a kid; remember card games like war, gin rummy, hearts, concentration, or spoons? Those are great ones and all require number computation-- math.  Board games also sharpen skills like critical thinking, spatial reasoning, strategy, and the list goes on. Our latest family favorite is Qwirkle, and the kids love Risk, Blokus, Connect Four, Yahtzee, Scrabble, etcetera. Keep a game or two out on the kitchen counter or table and start one up after dinner-- if you set it up and invite them to play, chances are, you’ll have little trouble getting your kids to join in. Enjoy!

Insights: Summer Schedules and Routines

Regardless if you are a working mom or a stay at home mom, summer usually means a breather from the regimented demands of the school year. Gone are the endless school projects, nightly homework, school voicemails and after school activities. Yet summer brings new responsibilities like swim lessons, baseball, all sorts of camps and now the stress of managing your family’s “free time.” 

 

While the flexibility of summer is attractive and welcome, don’t lose the structure in your days. Kids feel more secure and are more successful when they know what is expected of them and when things happen. Whether it is school or camp, you will always find a daily schedule—you should have one too. The key is to balance structured and free time. I like to start and end our day with routines leaving the middle for fun and adventure.

 

Morning starts with the checklist, but tailored for summer. Many of you have used the inspiring Moms school year morning and afternoon checklists and love them. They work so well because they provide your kids with a simple step-by-step guide to mastering the tasks necessary for morning and afternoon success. A checklist frees you, from being the bad guy. “Mom can I go outside and play?” Your response is simple, “That sounds fun, keep making progress on your checklist-- you’ll be done soon, I bet.” By establishing daily expectations, your kids can manage summer days much easier. Our rule is as soon as the checklist is complete; the kids are free agents for summer fun. Your kids will learn that in order to play hard they have to work hard, yet as a routine, work comes first. Sure there are exceptions, but when they become the rule, you’ve lost your structure and the security that goes along with it. Download Summer Morning and Evening Checklists

 

Once responsibilities are done, it’s time to have friends over, go swimming or take a field trip to the library, museum or park. Let your kids chose the activities each day, but save Friday as your choice. That’s your day to take them somewhere you enjoy.

 

Family dinner is a great way to start back with routines at the end of the day. If schedules during the school year make family dinners a challenge, make it happen in the summer. Studies have found the following results associated with family dinners:

                        ·         Meals will be healthier and more balanced

·         Kids build larger vocabularies

·        Kids engage in fewer risky behaviors (smoking, drinking, drugs)

·        Teens who rarely eat with their families are three-and-a-half times more likely to have abused prescription drugs or an illegal drug other than marijuana

·        Girls who have five or more meals a week with their families are one-third less likely to develop unhealthy eating habits (ranging from skipping meals to full-fledged anorexia or abusing diet pills.)

After dinner there is usually enough time for a last swim, family walk, bike ride or just plain playing in the yard and then you want to go back to your bedtime routine.  Kids will go to bed later because of the light, but it is still important to have a bedtime.

 

Summer is a great break from the pressures of the school year, but brings different challenges.  Schedules and routines are a great way to keep some structure while basking in the freedom of fewer obligations.  Make it a great summer!

I’m a stay-at-home mom and stressed about keeping the kids occupied this summer. Help!

First off, you aren’t the only one who is stressing about what to do with the kids this summer. Your question came up a lot this last week. Think about it, in a week or so, the entire structure of your life and your child’s day is going to change—pretty drastically. What may have been P.E on Mondays, and Art on Tuesdays is now going to Mommy on Monday and Mommy on Tuesday. No pressure there, huh!

 

First thing to remember is this: kids thrive in a structured environment. That is why teachers post each day’s schedule on the bulletin board. Kids take comfort in knowing what is next. Routines and structure empower a child to anticipate the energy and effort necessary to be successful.

 

Establishing structure at home will yield you the similar benefits. Knowing that mornings bring certain activities will make those mornings so much more enjoyable for you and your kids. You can be creative within your routines, yet the structure and direction sets both you and your kids up for success.

 

Here are some ideas to get you started: 

*  Read to your kids. Start the day off together snuggling in your bed with a pile of books. You get to stay in bed a bit longer and they get to pick out their favorite books for reading time.

*  Turn off your television and surround your kids with books, paper and pencils, markers and stickers and let them go to town. Without the television as a diversion, your kids will build their imagination, intelligence and self-esteem by relying on themselves for entertainment.

 *  Get out most mornings. Whether it is to a park, pool for swimming lessons, a class or the library. Have a reason to get up and go and then exercise those sweet kids of yours. They need it, and so do you!

*  Come home for lunch and if appropriate, nap your sweet children or at the very least, maintain a quiet time. Your kids will be so much better prepared for the fun the afternoon will bring and so will you!

 

*  Pick one day a week, (I like Fridays) and pack up your kids and take them on a Mom’s Day. Surprise your kids with a morning or afternoon activity of your choice. What makes you happy? Share it with your kids! Talk about inspiring!

 

As you jump into summer, remember that every day is an opportunity to create fun and lasting memories. When in doubt, play in the sprinklers, get out the bubbles, make an obstacle course and crack up with your kids. Those are the memories that will last forever!

Make it a great day and keep those questions coming! 

 

Send your questions, concerns, and challenges to askamy@inspiringmoms.com.  How can I help you and your family?

 

Amy

inspiring Moms Featured on Fox 4 News

Fox 4 news in Kansas City featured Amy and inspiring Moms on their Mother's Day edition of the Sunday news. Watch as Amy discusses how social media has become a resource for the modern mom. 

Click Here for Video

“What do you do when your best friend’s kid is a bully and hits your kid all the time! I really need help!”

Best friend or not, this is about keeping your child safe. I believe that as a mom, you have a job to keep your child healthy and safe. Your child needs to be able to count on you to “watch his back.” He needs to know that you are there to protect him, especially when he doesn’t feel like he can protect himself.

 

I would address your friend in private and with compassion. I’m sure she is sensitive and will appreciate your understanding. Here is what I would say:

 

“I value our friendship and that’s why I need to talk to you. It’s my job to keep “Joey” healthy and safe. I’ve noticed that when the kids get together, there is lots of fighting. I wouldn’t be doing my job if I let that continue. It isn’t healthy for either of them and it’s not safe for “Joey.” We need to let the kids know that fighting is unacceptable and it’s our job to keep them healthy and safe. If the hurting in word or action continues, they will lose privileges to play with one another.

 

At the Davis house, my job extends to anyone playing with my kids. We have the same rules whether I birthed you, or not.  Our house is safe for everyone. If the Mom is there, and her child hits, I would say that hitting is unacceptable in our house and I would let her discipline in her way. If it doesn’t “fix” the problem, then I would tell her and her child that I am so sorry, but it’s my job to keep my child safe and when you hit my child, it hurts him, so we’ll have to try a play date another day. “Mrs. Davis is just doing her job.”

 

In the end, you need to know what your job is to establish boundaries and use logical consequences to promote cooperation. The result will be that if your friend’s child truly wants to play with your son, he will cooperate and modify his behavior. This approach removes you from being the bad guy. You are just doing your job! If this doesn’t work, it will be time for you and your friend to meet without the kids.

 

Good luck, you’ll be great. And let me know how it turns out.

 

Amy

How in the world do you talk on the phone and keep your 7 kids from interrupting you every 5 seconds? I feel like I can’t get a minute of peace.

I know this can be frustrating and that’s why I came up with a strategy to both enjoy my conversation and teach my kids to respect my time and attention.

If I am speaking to someone on the phone and one of my kids needs me and it is not an emergency (ie, house on fire, someone in danger, or someone at the door,) that child quietly, (yes, without sound) stands next to me and holds my hand– done. It is that easy. The gesture of taking my hand signals to me that he or she would like my attention as soon it is convenient for me to give it. This best practice teaches my kids patience, respect and proper etiquette not to interrupt someone during a conversation. This works for all ages of kids, yet it will only work if you do it-- every day, no exceptions

One last thing, if your kids don’t cooperate, the consequence is that they lose whatever it was they wanted or needed in the first place. If interrupted, your answer must always be “No.” It will take some practice, but you will get good at it. Believe me; your kids will start to follow your rule pretty quickly, especially if you are consistent. Keep in mind that the inspiring Moms job description is to “keep your kids, happy, healthy, safe and cozy.” This strategy helps you proactively develop healthy kids by instilling patience, respect and cooperation. Be sure to praise their cooperation. Patience is a virtue, yet learning it takes practice.

May Reviews

How many times as a mom have you dreamed that you had an extra pair of hands?  This month’s favorite is your dream come true. If Mom Had Three Arms is written by author Karen Kaufman Orloff and illustrated by one of our family favorites, Pete Whitehead.  You’ll love the mom with nine arms who “would throw lots of pitches” or the mom with ten arms who could “scratch all his itches”.  This is a fun and colorful counting book that has a touching ending that will soon become a family favorite. Check it out on Amazon.com

 

I was at the book store the other day and noticed an expecting mom sifting through all the countless pregnancy and baby book titles. Sound familiar? As I did with her, I want to share with you my favorite books which helped form my philosophies and made the greatest impact on my development as a mom. I will begin this month with Children the Challenge by Rudolph Dreikurs. This book is a must read, a must own and a must reread. The short chapters will keep your attention and provide you with easy to comprehend strategies for managing your children and their behavior. Dreikurs philosopy of using logical consequences to raise helathy kids inspired me and this book still sits on my bedside table. Check it out on Amazon.com

I don't feel like I am connecting with my kids, how can I build that into my day?

First off, the fact that you recognize that you want to strengthen your relationship with your kids is great; you are half way there because you want it!

 

To create closeness or cozy, I’d love to share my most important parenting tool; the inspiring Moms Job Description which is, “My job is to keep you, happy, healthy, safe and cozy.” I developed this job description about 15 years ago, and I recite it aloud to my kids dozens of times each day. It provides me with direction while making my kids aware of my responsibilities and what they can expect from me as their mom. The biggest benefit is that it guides you in making and explaining every single parenting decision to your children; especially the unpopular ones. So, to answer your question, it is your job to develop cozy. Read on for a simple best practice to help you get started.

 

Create the habit of reading to your child all snuggled up on your lap for as long as your lap is big enough. When they graduate to the chair or cushion next to you touch them, arm to arm, and share your warmth. Focus on as many of the five senses (touch, sight, smell, taste and sound) as possible. The more senses that you engage in caring for your children, the more your child will remember how it felt when you snuggled up on the couch and read a favorite book with them. The bonus in creating sensory based memories is all it might take is a smell, taste or feeling to bring back those wonderful moments you shared with your child. So, how about baking a batch of cookies with the kids and enjoying them after you read together (slice and bake work just fine). Just like the smells of my fresh banana muffins or chocolate chip cookies ellicit feelings of home or warmth to my kids, so must you create the cozy by your touch and activities to build togetherness and closeness. Don’t wait! There is nothing more wonderful and nurturing to your child than knowing that the most important person in their world is choosing to spend time with them.

 

Read, read, read-- believe me, they don’t fit on your lap forever!  Need book ideas? Check out my favorites this month!